MY HEART AND OTHER BLACK HOLES by JASMINE WARGA

Aysel and Roman became suicide partners. One was skeptical she could follow through with her plan and the other one needed someone whom his mother could entrust her son with, so they were the perfect pair to assist each other in carrying out the act. On the days leading to April, they would see each other, plan the when, where and how of their act, and learn about each other’s lives. Aysel would then ask Roman to accompany her while she sought closure. In the process, Aysel would become more and more unsure of herself which would cause Roman to doubt her.

It’s like your sadness is so deep and overwhelming that you’re worried it will drown everyone else in your life if you let them too close to it. – Roman

My Heart and Other Black Holes is both a heartbreaking and a hopeful book about two troubled teenagers who couldn’t take living in the shadows of their family’s history anymore.

What first got me hooked was its unique plotline. Don’t get me wrong; I have already said a few times that suicide stories have become a trend lately. As for me, all the books I have opened just this year related to the same subject, but this one was quite different. I had no idea about suicide websites and suicide partners. They never even crossed my mind, so I was really intrigued when that new concept welcomed me the moment I opened this novel.

The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. – John Milton

I have to admit that I could not find the story’s appeal at first, though; it started out a little dreary. I was waiting for the story to get to the point. It was only when I was on the first quarter of the book when I got its grip. Though this was the case, it didn’t mean I dragged on reading. It was actually quick to finish that it only took two sittings for me to get it over with.

What was nice about this one was that even when it didn’t have the grandest gestures of love, the supposed relationship still had the romance that triggered something more than just cuteness, something more along the feeling of hopefulness. The relationship didn’t even become real concrete up until the end, but I still felt that same level of sweetness just like I did in other books wherein characters were more intimate when it came to their interaction and connection. I felt the same even during the seemingly sad instances. It was magical like that.

I know you didn’t. And I didn’t want you to. I care about you too much to watch you die. I want you to live, Aysel. So I did it alone because I wanted to save you. – Roman

If anything, I felt that the climax had less impact than it should’ve had. This, based on observation, was because the buildup wasn’t enough to prepare the reader’s emotions for when the story peaked. It didn’t establish much worry, fear and panic. Maybe worry, fear and panic got a bit late in the picture or happened too quickly.

Did I like My Heart and Other Black Holes? I did. It was an easy read despite its being a bit heavy content-wise. The characters and the situation were easy to understand as well. Still, I think it would have been better if the author developed and elaborated the pain of the characters more and began with the buildup earlier on to add weight.

Sometimes it takes watching someone else observe how you live to realize exactly how you live. – Aysel

Are you done reading this book? What are your thoughts? I’d like to know them! Feel free to share them below! 

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