Thursday, March 26, 2015

SHARP OBJECTS by GILLIAN FLYNN

In need of a fresh start from rehab and a break in her career, Camille Preaker was unwillingly brought back to Missouri, her quiet hometown she didn’t feel much like at home, through her news assignment about two missing teenage girls. Staying with her mother, stepfather and sister who she felt very distant with was making it harder for her to adjust. In order to get a full grip of the case, she had to know what has become of everyone in her hometown and, more importantly, face her demons and her family’s history. Before she knew it, she was already caught in the middle playing an important role in the solving of the crime.
Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you’re really doing it to them. – Amma Crellin

Sharp Objects is another book that showcased a woman for a central character, another Flynn signature. Here, I saw a woman as a fighter but more as a struggler. It was baffling to read through something with a woman facing every tribulation and seeing her suffering eat away at her. I couldn’t help but feel pity for her. Majority of the characters were also women, women who weren’t winning in life either, women who became slaves and victims of their own flaws and environment. This book was just dark for women, and I was depressed the whole time.

Everyone has their own version of a memory. – Richard Willis

I have to admit that it seemed like it was taking longer than usual to get to the thrill. It was a bit slow-paced and sometimes dragging, especially from the beginning up to the first half of the book. It wasn’t that bad, though. It just took me a while to get a grasp of the story, but I also have to say that the remaining half more than compensated for everything else. Gaaaaaaahddd!

There were two scenes that stood out as the most poignant points for me. The motel scene between Camille and John revealed themselves as too weak and hopeless at that moment. Two vulnerable people finding comfort in each other didn’t seem a lot like anything helpful and consoling. When the revelation where Camille found the teeth brought back and connected all the circumstances in her family and town, it was all too much to take in because in the middle of everything is the death of three children and the trauma of two struggling daughters.

But children digest terror differently. – Camille Preaker

Haunting and gritty would be the perfect words to describe the general feel of Sharp Objects. I couldn’t make it a read before I go to bed because I was sure to have nightmares if I ever tried. It was horror but in real life. It’s the kind of story that has gotten under my skin, affected me in a way I was caught dumbstruck and left feeling sad for everyone in the end. The plot is of rare situation and nature, but it still managed to become all too relatable and consuming for me. It felt real, felt like a condition anyone can be in. Of course this was how it’s supposed to be knowing that this is all a product of Flynn’s genius, simply shocking. I was so affected that I wasn’t nearly done even after the last page. I had to stay silent for some time to contemplate what the hell just happened in the book because it was too twisted and unexpected.

Are you done reading this book? What are your thoughts? I’d like to know them! Feel free to share them below!


Tuesday, March 10, 2015

The Happy List: Random List #4

Photo is unrelated, but it reminds me of the beach. No. 10's about hitting the beach, so yeah, this makes sense. :)
  1. Productive work weeks
  2. Idle days too :)
  3. Enjoying my smartphone very much, so much so that I can’t seem to put it down anymore. It’s essential in all the basic and more techy ways I can use it in my life. Thank you, dearest Daddy :)
  4. Gosh, I can’t believe it took me this long to get signed up on IG! I am not the biggest photo enthusiast, but Instagram’s just too addictive I would catch myself pulling down on the app several times an hour just to look at and swoon over gorgeous photos of people and clothes and things and food and beaches
  5. The amazing view of my city from a rooftop
  6. All my ukay steals and coming up to the conclusion that ukay is undoubtedly every poor girl’s secret mine of gold ~ slowly perfecting the art of thrift shopping
  7. Cheesy Garlic Chicken and Krispy Kare-kare brimming to the platter c/o Big Belly’s
  8. In relation to No. 7, spontaneous nights of strolling around and sitting by the benches at UPLB
  9. Finalizing summer plans with Jusz and the other mates and the excitement from here on until the big day when we hit the beach again ~ summer is young and so are we
  10. Freedom in telling Daddy about the boyfriend’s existence in my life making everything official. And the father’s reaction, just epic hahahahaha
  11. Revisiting previous frame of mind and deciding to leave something for myself, just in case (Not sure about this being a happy thing but it’s a realization that would benefit me, just in case, so I guess it qualifies)
  12. Realizing that I may not have to deal with No. 11 after all because only good things will prevail in my life ~ don’t want to jinx it tho :)
  13. Celebrating the boyfriend's birthday binge-eating buffalo wings and munching on doughnuts. Food is the third party in this relationship lol
HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAY, JECK-JECK!!!!! :)
So much happiness just because...

Monday, February 23, 2015

THE WKND SPECIAL Vol. 1

THE WKND SPECIAL is my blog series aimed at basically documenting the important and semi-important things that happen in my life on particular weekends. (But only when I’m in the mood to do so. Harhar!)

For a debut post, I’d like to say that the weekend that was February 21 and 22 were absolutely well-spent. I managed to squeeze in four separate but equally important meetings with loved ones.
On Saturday, I went to back to college. I wish. Hahaha. But seriously, I came back home to my alma mater after what felt like a long time. LPU-L still had that distinct breeze that gets all the hair raising and bodies shivering in coldness. I missed that. It didn't feel like summer is already fast approaching there. (Wait, is it really already March next week? Aaaack!)
The ever supportive alumni that we were, my college friends and I visited school to show support for the CAS Pep Squad in the annual cheerleading competition. The team was such a dedicated and talented bunch. So dedicated that they won 1st runner-up! It wasn't the cleanest and smoothest performance, but it truly was full of energy and aura which more than compensated for the routine fails and pyramid falls. Congratulations for a well-deserved award, CAS Pep! You guys did great! We're very proud of you! VIVA CAS!
Jerome's photo
We also took that chance to do the very thing we enjoyed doing most when we were still in college which was to goof around, as in totally fool around like mad kids! We were such happy friends! :) We would catch ourselves unable to close our mouths from laughing nonstop and feeling our jaws locked in pain afterwards for good reason. Yey! I super duper, duper, duper missed my college mates!

Come Sunday, I was off again. I had quite a few places to go and things to do in my itinerary. I was first off to spend a quick chat with Him. I didn’t attend mass, just had a little quiet time with Him. :) Then I was off again! Zooooom!
I met with the boyfriend for some QT (quality time). Nothing like a dose of the boyfriend to cheer me up and complete my awesome rest day, woots! *insert heart-shaped eyes here* LOLOLOL!

And before I knew it, I was off again to meet another set of friends, the high schoolers! Let’s roll!
This get-together was brought to us by the ever loud Krizia Joson who was celebrating her birthday. It was pizza night for us! A huge four-flavored pizza for dinner and a good set of friends for company were the perfect way to cap off my awesome weekend!
To Krizia, happy birthday! I know you’re in such a really good place in your life right now, especially with your work and love life. It shows. You’re beautiful. :) You are entitled to these good things, so claim them! Please continue being that pesky friend (haha) because that attitude makes all gatherings happen and gets the gang to be complete! :) Your friends love you; I love you!

xx


Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Love + Love


Life, indeed, has its surprises. Love, indeed, got me tongue-tied...

Because how do you actually talk about the person you love? It's always been a pressing issue for me since there's so much to tell, and I know for sure that one post is not going to suffice.

Today, though, I abandon the hesitation and let the emotions fall where they may. I really want to write this down now, and I was just making an excuse when I said it is hard even when the struggle is real.

I am nervous and excited all at once as I begin with this.

I have embarked on a new life adventure, a journey which began its course the day I met him, and I'm talking about fireworks going off every moment we're together since then.

Everything started out with qualms. I am a coward, and stuff with no certainty scare me. I took a leap of faith, nonetheless. Thanks to him for giving me the push I needed when I needed it. Had I said no, I wouldn't have been where I am right now or would’ve delayed what would later lead me to this life-changing crossroad.

That’s the first of many things so special about him – his ability to push me on so many levels. To be braver. To be better. To be rational. To be open. He can make me see reason in ways other people can’t because that’s just how he is with me. He’s never scared of telling me the things I do wrong and right. He addresses them so casually that I get stunned myself because oftentimes I just don’t see things the way he does. He puts things in perspective for me. And because of this, I get to work my way around things better. He allows me to come out of my system and open myself up to him because that’s why he’s here for me in the first place – to be my truth.

In my eyes, he is perfect. I see no blemish in the person that is him. His bespectacled eyes are more of a smart feature than a reminder that he sees less clearly because behind those frames hide the smarts I so adore, smarts that can perceive so widely even I myself get surprised at how far they can fathom. His countless moles, I’ve never had this much affection for those pointless dots on anyone before – so much for a distracting nonsense on anyone’s body – until I saw his, love at first sight. But if anyone would ask me what I love the most about his face, I would unblinkingly say that his scars left by premature acne are hands down the best thing about his face. They are imperfectly perfect. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Too smooth and they would’ve made him look less manly than he should. I find calmness in caressing those rough spots, stroking them lovingly. I would see him, and it’s the first thing I would do. I can do it forever for as long it’s his face I’m feeling.

It’s really just the most mundane of things that makes me fall deeper. It’s experiencing his love as manifested by the normal, everyday things he does to and for me. It’s in the things we are most compatible and most opposite with. It’s when his voice cracks in the middle of our conversation. It’s when we laughcry so hard at the stupidest things that we can already see each other’s throats peeking out. It’s how he delights me with all his obsessive compulsion with even the tiniest things. It’s when he would just helplessly surrender to what I want because he knows I will always have my way. It’s seeing how much of a mama’s boy he is. It's basking in his smell so good. It’s when the smallest things I do make him happy. It’s because his aura gives other people the impression that he is this serious and mysterious guy when the truth is he’s just the contrary. It’s when he tries things he’s not used to just for me. It’s how he gently slaps my mouth when I curse. It’s when he compliments my look. It’s when he kisses me on the forehead and gives me one of those really tight hugs which I love the most. It’s when he shows me off to his family. It’s in the way he does all those gentlemanly things to me even when he knows he doesn’t have to baby me always. Then he will go on by telling me why I am worthy of such treatment. It’s when he gives me the grownup talk when I need it most, even when I am reluctant to hear it. It’s when he comes undone to me. It’s when he lets me cry my way out of a problem I caused us and loses his anger the moment he sees my puffy eyes. Aw. It’s when he talks about our future so casually but in that tone of absolute certainty, like he’s that sure of us already. Aaaah, those and everything in between.

When I look at him, stolen glances (because I just really want to savor every bit of him) and intentional stares (which I do to send gestural messages) alike, I can’t help but smile that smile of utter happiness and absolute thankfulness. There are moments, and I mean a lot of those, when, just by looking at him, I experience euphoria. And every time, I mutter a silent prayer/wish for forever. I always get these happy jitters all over me when I realize how much happiness he has brought in my life which I initially thought was already the most I could ever have. I guess there is more, so much more to this romance. I understand now why people go so crazy about this entire love thing.

We are still in the honeymooning phase of the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, and I am already daydreaming about all the many other things we can try out together, life stories and lessons we can both learn from, habits we will learn to let go and embrace as we go on with this journey, words of wisdom we will live by together and share with each other, and relationship goals we will equally work on to fulfill. I hope to God we don't lose our spark, energy and youth. I guess we’ll never lose this piqued interest, as we plan to keep it this way forever.

Beyond the daydreaming, though, lie more concrete dreams I seek to fulfill, and it feels good to know that I am finally putting my future into consideration. I used to be the type who would just take whatever life throws my way. But now, because I am not only thinking of myself anymore but us, it has become exciting to consider what life ahead holds for us. Future plans become appealing and interesting. Since him, I have dared to become the best person I can be, for his sake and mine. It is easier because he is the positive energy that influences me to do just that. It feels good to know that because I care for him and our relationship so much, I make the effort to strengthen what we have to make things work and last, feels really good to exert effort not because I'm being forced to but because I want to.

I’m happy with the way things are right now and where they are headed. He’s presently my boyfriend, but he’s leisurely turning into the bestest best friend. They say best relationships start with friendship; I say we’ll see what it’s like the other way around.



For you, my love.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Nasugbu 2015: When Days Cross at Sea

Wanderlust got the better of me once more. I wasn’t looking for any particular place to go, only that I wanted to go. And I did, with the family.

I found myself one afternoon in Nasugbu, Batangas. I was so happy to escape. I was in the pool then I was on the beach. I am not at home, but I am home.
Bernabeach Resort
The sand wasn't white. It was black as black could get. Though not in the color I preferred, at least it was powder fine. My feet were happy to step and sink in such black fineness. What was very sad was the amount of trash I saw everywhere on the shore. There were also some flowing in the water. Such ugliness made me feel a bit disgusted by the beach and lose my interest to walk around longer. I am not sure whether the guests who feel it is not their responsibility to clean up whatever they mess up did this or the locals who go roaming around in the morning or at midday who don't give an f's worth whatever happens to this beautiful gem of theirs. Whoever caused all this, it’s sad, nonetheless. I wish I could say I had such a really, really, really great time spending it in the sand and the salt if not for the terrible situation the beach itself is currently in. But I found other ways to amuse myself.
What the beach lacked or overdid the resort pools were able to make up for. They were cleaner, clearer and bluer. They exuded a very relaxing yet classy vibe to it. I admit I spent more time by the pool area because I was more comfortable hanging around by the pool chairs watching the rest of the guests swim to their delight. Swimming on a cold January/February day is not the same when you would go on another month. It was very, very cold. The breeze equated to goosebumps. Dipping in the water was a challenge; staying in it was an ordeal. And though I didn’t hover and float longer than two hours, it was still amazing.
The following day was a nice day. It was a good thing I found a spot with fewer garbage, so despite the ugliness, it still felt really nice sitting by the shore while looking at clear blue skies with no cable wires or towering buildings blocking the view. Aaah! That's something people don't get to experience everyday anymore, so that's really worth the travel and energy. There will always be nothing like it! Also, mornings by the beach, who wouldn't want that? Cold, salty wind in my hair, pure sand on my toes and the calm sun over my head, yeeeessss!
Though not the first time I touched the sands and waters of Nasugbu, I still managed to create new firsts in this paradise. It couldn’t have gone more memorable than that, surely, and I’m just glad to have been able to preserve such memories in my mind forever and immortalize them in these few shots.

I am happy to have been able to cross off January and start this fresh month in a place that reminds of how good life really is and how loved I truly am. This is the kind of thing I pay for, the reason I take on the hassles brought about by travelling and the basis I am in love with myself and my life and this world so completely. I am always a brand new person after I have gone to every beautiful place with a more positive perspective of this gorgeous mess and a different hunger to taste the wind and water that is nature.

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